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Have you ever been asked the same question over and over again? Have you ever felt as though those asking the question were looking for more? Have you ever felt that God was asking for more?
I am often asked, “Just why do you write?” I have struggled with answering this question for many years. I feel called by God? I want to share God’s message with others? I have a story to tell? I enjoy it? Though answers like these have validity, they just didn’t seem to satisfy my heart. I kept feeling the familiar Holy Spirit tapping on the door to my heart…”Really, just why do you write? Dig deeper.”
Digging deeper is hard for a mama of three who works part-time and finds time for reflection nearly impossible. God, however, has a habit of meeting us right where we are! I have found that watching children’s movies uncovers a deeper part of my heart that is often otherwise hidden. Children’s movies are also a natural part of mama life, so the God meeting us where we are thing – spot on! These movies are meant for children, those not yet filled with wisdom or experience, but also devoid of most pain and fear granted in adulthood. Hmm. Pain and fear; the very two things that keep me from letting my heart do the answering to the question of why I write.
It was during the children’s movie, Leap, where I had one of those deeply desired “ah-ha” moments. I was reminded about the difference between a dream with and without “heart.” It is one thing to write. It is another to take my fist of confidence and push it forward, pumping it up and down with each beat of my heart that then propels pieces of my soul onto the paper before me.
In the movie, an orphan girl, Felicie, escapes her orphanage to pursue her dream of attending a dance school in Paris. She and a trusted friend make the trek together and end up battling the reality of lower socioeconomic status and its challenges to reach their happy ending. Against all odds, the little orphan girls ends up staring in the Nutcracker ballet via a most convoluted and unexpected path. Evil step-mother and step-sister types and their antics, crushing word criticisms and poor decision-making skills all played a part in making her dream seem out of reach. But, personal persistence, encouragement from those most trusted, confidence and growth from previous mistakes landed little Felicie on the center stage of her dreams.
To quote the movie, “If you never leap, you will never fly.” This little dancer took a big risk, a big leap to follow her dreams. And she followed them with her heart. She tuned out the voices of doubt and fear and instead believed she could fly. And she did.
So, why do I write? Just like that little dancer, I write to live, to be myself. I write to become the very best version of myself. I write to know God better and to channel my self-confidence through him alone and to share this secret with others. I write with my heart on my sleeve, its contents eager to flow from my fingers to my readers’ eyes. I write with the belief that I was made to fly.
“Why would you ever complain, O Jacob, or, whine, Israel, saying, “God has lost track of me. He doesn’t care what happens to me”? Don’t you know anything? Haven’t you been listening? God doesn’t come and go. God lasts. He’s Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn’t get tired out, doesn’t pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out. He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts. For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, they run and don’t get tired, they walk and don’t lag behind.” (Isaiah 40:27-31)
I have always loved this Scripture passage. I admit, I have been in the first several stanzas of this passage for many years and will likely be there again (I am human). But, for now, I feel it is time for me to spread my wings with the strength and confidence, only given by our loving Heavenly Father.
I watched my five-year old daughter leap off of the couch (yes, I allowed this – do not judge) as she watched the movie, “Leap” with me. She was trying to fly, just like sweet Felicie. As I watched her float through the air, something inside me awoke. That deep Holy Spirit tapping became an almost audible voice… I was made to fly, to soar, to take leaps into this life without fear. I was made to write the beautiful words that God so tenderly lays on my heart. I was made to share them with you.